Dating Pitfalls #1: The case of the ex

When embarking on a dating relationship with someone new, it is important to be aware of the ways that things can go wrong, and to avoid these as far as possible. The unavoidable fact is that many times, a new relationship can follow on the footsteps – for you or for the person you are dating – of a relationship which ended recently. This raises the very difficult question of how to deal with the ex. The end of a relationship invariably generates strong feelings, and it is how these feelings are dealt with that can make or break a new relationship.

For the person who is coming off a broken relationship, the range of possible feelings is extremely variable. It may be that you (or the person you are dating) still have feelings for the ex, especially if it was they that broke it off. The question of whether someone in such a situation should be dating at all is a tough one. It can help in getting over the old relationship, or it can complicate the new one. Additionally, there is the question of bitterness. If a person recently out of a relationship talks in a bitter, even insulting manner about an ex, it will invariably raise the question “Will they talk about me like that if we don’t work?”.

It is important that there is honesty in any relationship. Without it, a relationship will wither and die on the vine. Confront any old feelings before going any further, and you have a chance. Letting them fester will just ruin anything good that you could have.